So I was just having a conversation with my homeboy about the emotionality of physical intimacy. And I was reminded just how much men and women just don't see the world the same way. Now we are all grown folks and I will keep the posting PG-13 but to give you a lil back story.
Homie(that is what we will call him for the sake of identification), homie and his Friend (that is what we will call her) have known each other for aproximately a year and a half, maybe more. And they were tighter than a new weave, (cue the violins lol), nah but seriously, they have been tight for a caliente (hot) minute.
Anyway until recently their friendship was strictly platonic until approximately a likkle while ago when they made out and canoodled (yes there were shenanigans, but that is as far as it went!). They didn't do the horizontal mambo and that may have just been the best thing that happened- for a lot of reasons:
A. He just came out of a pretty deep relationship, he was engaged.
B.Neither Homie nor Friend are in the right emotional mindset to deal with intense emotions.
C. It just didn't pop off.
Anyway, when Homie went to address the canoodling Friend got upset because like a man he simply told her the truth and told her that when the shenanigans had gone down he had just been, and I quote, "trying a ting." Ladies now I know you all just got ready for war- relax, and fellas save the round of applause for the Apollo, there is more.
She got a likkle wound up, cause naturally what female wants to feel like a potential jump off when they see themselves as wifey material. Anyway it appears the convo got real awkward real fast and then came to an abrupt and uncomfortable end.
Now it seems cut and dried right?- dude was just trying to have some fun and homegirl is just too hypersensitive, right???? WRONG. See homie really likes Friend but didn't want it to be a jumpoff thing so he played it off cause:
A. Its what men do when they are emotionally vulnerable
B. Home girl is more complicated than space rocket semantics
C.He's a man and he was just being a man.
But the point of this long winded short story- yeah I know I ramble on- is that men and women need to go into situations with their eyes open especially when it comes to the opposite sex.
Men keep it simple- if its just a ting well that is all it is- just getting in where they FIT in if you get my meaning.
Women on the other hand well....as I told homie- PHYSICAL INTIMACY ALWAYS ALWAYS INVOLVES EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY, no matter how cold-hearted the girl may claim to be or act like she is we are all just mars bars, hard outside all mushy and goey on the inside lol.
So avoid eyes wide shut syndrome ladies- if the man cannot commit to a favourite color, job, basketball team, then he cant commit to you. Fellas, stop tryna blow smoke about the ass- if its just sex, then tell us its just sex, and if you arent ready for love like an India.Arie song then its cool let us know, give us the opportunity to either let you in, or kick you to the curb. At least as adults you both know what you want and whether or not you are gonna both get what you need.
Keep it Kosher!!!
R.
